


a true connoisseur

by stargayzing



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, Bad Puns, First Meetings, Inappropriate Humor, Lance is lucky he's so cute, M/M, Meet-Cute, Meet-Weird is more like it, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-29 22:38:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8508223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargayzing/pseuds/stargayzing
Summary: In which Lance catches Hunk fondling vegetables - that's not what he was doing, HONESTLY - and they hit it off. Sort of.If by 'hit if off' you mean "spend 10 minutes trading dick jokes and flirting awkwardly in the middle of a grocery store before finally exchanging phone numbers"





	

**Author's Note:**

> rated Teen for the large (amount of) dick (jokes)

Hunk was standing in the fresh produce aisle of his local supermarket, tired and a little dazed after a hellish eight hour shift, when suddenly someone wolf-whistled.   


Confused, he looked around and spotted a lanky teenager about his own age who was - he looked behind himself to make sure - yep, looking right at him. Before Hunk could ask, he smirked and said: "Pretty bold, doing that in public. Don't you carrot all what people think of you?"

Hunk looked down at the cucumber he had almost forgotten he was holding and immediately blushed. "That's not- I wasn't- Was that a _pun_?"

"Sorry, was that mean? I didn't mean to be a _jerk_ ," the stranger said, walking up to where Hunk was standing. Now that he was closer, Hunk could see he was kind of cute, with tousled brown hair and long lashes around dark eyes. He was also wearing a spider-man shirt and the biggest shit-eating grin Hunk had ever seen. "The temptation was kinda hard to resist, though."

"Oh it was hard alright," Hunk said automatically, blinking when that startled a laugh out of the other boy. Scratch kind of, the guy was _definitely_ cute.

"Want some nuts to go with your cucumber?," the cutie said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

"Sure. They'll go great with the salad I'm tossing," Hunk fired back. 

"I'd rather have some steak. Can't beat meat, after all."

The store was pretty empty, but even so, they were starting to attraction. Hunk replied with, "Why not both?" anyway.

"Busy evening."

"What can I say? I like getting busy," Hunk replied. His face was starting to hurt from trying to keep from laughing.

His new acquaintance had obviously given up on keeping a straight face entirely and was snickering openly. He seemed blissfully unaware of the disapproving looks a pair of grandmas were shooting them, although Hunk felt like his cheeks were on fire. 

"Don't tell me you're all work and no play."

"What if I yam?"

"That was _terrible,_ " Cutie grimaced, and Hunk had to agree with him.  

"Aren't all puns?," Hunk reasoned, but the other shook his head. "Not mine. Mine are..." he paused dramatically. "Unbeetable."

Hunk groaned, which - if possible - made him look even more smug. 

"Name's Lance," cutie said. "But you can call me... anytime."

"Wow. Dick jokes, puns  _and_ bad pickup lines? You're the whole package, aren't you?"

"I can tell you know your way around packages," Lance said, waggling his eyebrows again. 

Hunk laughed before he could stop himself. "Sure. I'm Hunk."

"I can see that," Lance said, running an appreciative eye over Hunk's broad frame. 

"Actually, my name is Hunk." 

Lance blinked, shooting him an incredulous look. "Wait, seriously?"

"Seriously. Why would I even lie about that?"

Lance shrugged, so Hunk continued: " Also, I'm pretty sure we're about to get yelled at by an angry russian lady, so we should probably go."  


"Your place or mine?", Lance said with a leer, but when he saw the store's manager coming towards them with a stormy expression he let Hunk drag him away.

He waited until they were out of the store - and a few feet further, just to be sure - before letting Lance go and breathing a relieved sigh. "Am I the only one who feels like we just had a near death experience?"

"Well she did look pretty pissed," Lance said. "Dang it. I missed the opportunity for a great joke. Before we left I should have called: 'Orangen't you glad we're leaving?'"

"Which would have made her kick us out. And maybe give us a life time ban, which would suck, because I _like_ this shop. And it would have been your fault entirely."

"Oh come on! Didn't you have fun?", Lance asked, eyes lit up with amusement but pretending to pout. Lance, Hunk noticed, had a very pretty mouth.

He sighed, again, before admitting: "I did. Which is why I'm giving you this." He pulled out a crumpled receipt and a sharpie from his coat pocket and quickly scribbled something on it. 

"It's, uh, my phone number. In case you..." he trailed off, suddenly embarrassed, before gathering up his courage and offering: "We should get some pizza some time."

When Hunk passes him the note, Lance was smiling, less of a smirk and something softer. He quickly caught himself, though, and winked. "Sure. With extra sausage? Sounds _saucey_."

Hunk groaned. "I already regret giving you my number. Give it back," he said, making grabby hands, but Lance just laughed and slipped the note into his pocket.

**Author's Note:**

> I love writing innocent gay fluff but I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone a bit.  
> So have some still-pretty-fluffy humour!
> 
> shout out to my boy Lance, whom i love dearly,


End file.
